Keep having weird dreams this few days, don't ask me what all the dreams about, i can't remember. And i'm feeling very tired no matter how long i sleep.
Anyway .. after fyp, there's nothing much for me to do, skip sch like dunno what. Decided to cut short my hair. Hmmm.. acually, i still not sure la, very scary lo. The last time i had short hair is when i'm in K1 K2, so freaking long ago. See how bah.
When everybody is rushing out their report or touching up their proj on sun, im at my house having steamboat. Whoooo damn happy (: Lucky i manage to finish up everything on sat night, thats why i can relax on sun.
Anyway.. hy alr submitted the disc. And that bloody advisor just tell us that we are having our presentation on wed. He seriously damn wth. Anyway, meeting deon to do the ppt tml after sch. Hope everything's goes smoothly during the presentation.
Staring at the com for at least 10 hours at
Saturday, July 25, 2009
♥ jess
Today is a very crap day. Met up with hy at bugis for fyp. Stay at a cafe for uber long. Finally the game is finished, now im designing.
I should have finish it by today, but its 5.26am now, and my eyes is really closing ): I think i'm gonna sleep first. There's still alot of things waiting for me to do tomorrow.
PS: I have been staring at the com for more than 10 hours ! fyp is CRAP !
I just realised, i actually like php. Oh my oh my, if others saw this, they might think i'm crazy. =p Buttt i really prefer php than AS, AS and java really aint my thing, i don't why too. Maybe its cos i skip too many classes alr.
Anyway, hy pass me the flashgame to do the php codes. And i actually manage to do it ((: whoooo~ happy happy! I can't even solve the smallest prob from actionscript. wth lo!
Everything seems fine now, waiting for hy to code finish, then pass me to design. Report almost done. Those that are excited about fyp presentation must be crazy :D
I think I think, i'm gonna study more about php and css/html.
Woooo~ i wanna update last night, but there's something wrong with blogger. So, here i am now ((:
School is getting more and more boring.. left half way on ytd class, met up with advisor with hy. Lucky there's no big problems now, left abit of coding and design. ((:
You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.
Went shopping with mama and meimei. Each of us got a pair of shoes (: Went to astons for dinner, the steak was superb~ i like i like. The price was so reasonable too.
Went to meet jy after that. Drinking wine at beach is godamn cool, laughing like mad. I swear people walking/running by thought that we are drunk/crazy/insane.
Java UT was like shit, there's only 3 questions. All the question i'm not really sure how to do =/ Jess ah, GOOD LUCK !
Anyway, school was flooded by people after test. I swear all of us look like ants crawling out of school la ~ can't even get in the stupid lift when i'm at level 6!
Look at me you may think you see Who I really am but you'll never know me Every day, is as if I play apart Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world but I can not fool my heart
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?
I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart and what I believe in But somehow I will show the world What's inside my heart and be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think how we feel Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that i'm someone else for all time When will my reflections show who I am inside? When will my reflections show who I am inside?
Haahahaha! Bangs looks so weirdddd on me, guess i can never get this haircut!! Anywayyy ~ met up with jy, jq and wm! Spend the whole night reminiscing bout our sec school life, it was great really (:
I love today class faciii ((: He is totally coooool cos i'm late for half an hour and he din mark me as lateee! And we only have two groups presenting today.
Met up with jy just now for dinner at eighteen chef! Super affordable and niceee~ i like!! I miss the 2 dollar chicken rice too, gonna have it sometime! Talk bout lotsa things with her, keep laughing non stop la.
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The story of Tree, Wind, Leaf at
Thursday, July 02, 2009
♥ jess
BEWARE: A super long post, but definitely worth reading. ---
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay" ---
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay. ---
Wind
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away." "It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...
--- We only start to cherish when things are gone. We will always take things for granted when things are ours.
Skipped school half way on mon, went back home to rest. Met up with jy, wh and gary for dinner at redhill after wh finished study for his jap. After dinner, went west coast park to chill.
Home sweet home around 12 (:
---
ytd jy came my house to search for jobs. Dinner at CS with jy and bs. Ask jq to join us at starbucks to chill. Crazy-ly laughing at all the stupid jokes.
Hello there, I'm Jessica, not Jessica Simpson nor Jessica Alba. My mama tell me that i shouldn't talk to stranger, so if you are one, please click on the x at the top
right hand corner. Ohhhh! just to let you know, i have a dream, a dream that one day, money could just drop from the sky. HAPPPPYYYYY~
